Funny Posts

I Have a UPS Story

I placed an order with Sean John awhile back and was expecting it soon. I went to my P.O. box on Monday (not where it was going, as far as I knew) and found a card in my mailbox from UPS saying that the package had been shipped to the P.O. box so, of course, they could not deliver it. I could pick it up at the address on the card (around 40 minutes away from my home) or call the number for more info.

So, I called the number and it sounded to me like I had to pick it up or had no other options. So, I hung up the phone* and proceeded to play catch with it, with myself, as I often do. I have a portable phone and I throw it up and down and all that. So, anyway, after maybe a minute and a half of doing that, the phone makes a noise and I put my ear to the receive and I hear “Hello?” The guy didn’t sound super angry, but a little perturbed. Thinking I may have picked it up my accident when someone was calling, I asked who I was speaking with. “This is UPS.” Wow.

So, he explains that he was going to help me with my package and, after I apologize, I give him some info and he tells me they can deliver it to my house. I give him the address, he set it up. He was polite and professional. Before he hangs up, I apologize again “for not knowing how to hang up a telephone”. He laughs and we hang up. (Finally).

I thought that was pretty cool service from UPS, a company I already like thanks to my frequent shipments. I see my UPS guy more than I see most members of my family. I think it’s important to highlight not only bad customer service experiences, but good ones. So, good job UPS.

* – or so I thought.

Make My Logo Bigger Cream (Who Needs Designers?)

I thought this was cute. Thanks to Bryan for mentioning it to me.

Hilariously Awesome

As part of that auction that I won, Brandon Hardesty posted a video “for me”. It’s pretty funny stuff:

He’s sending me a VHS tape of the unedited footage, which is around 40 minutes long, I guess. Some of the comments on YouTube suggested that I may be working with Mr. Hardesty (that the iFroggy Network has a contract with him, etc.) and I was quick to clarify that. Though that would certainly be awesome, it’s not the case. This is a personal purchase, I’m a big fan and, though I don’t have a lot of money, it was something I wanted to do.

Others commented that it could turn out to be a good investment. It could be, but that’s not my perspective here. I’m sure that, by working hard enough, Brandon will be successful at whatever he wants and I look forward to seeing it. But, regardless of what the future holds, I thought it was just a cool thing to have and a cool thing to do. I don’t look at it as an investment at all, really. Seeing this video makes me so glad I did it.

My Technical Expertise is Astounding

Sometimes, I amaze myself with the complex solutions that I come up with for equally complex problems. Take my laptop’s CD-ROM drive, for example. I decided that I wasn’t going to take that sort of nonsense from any member of my technological unit. So, I smacked a little sense into him. Worked him over, if you will. A quick strike to the CD-ROM drive’s general area and, what do you know, it’s playing a CD. That’s more like it. lol.

Super Shooter

Super Shooter is a comedy short series by Blame Society Productions. They are better known for Chad Vader (which I also love), but I wanted to mention Super Shooter in this post. They describe it as:

A man on a mission, to shoot people, with his gun. See Matt and Aaron in their most diverse array of roles within one show. Also featuring Finn as Lil’ Shooter. Warning: strong language.

There is strong language in it, so I do have to repeat that warning. You don’t want to repeat some of the things said in it in the comments here, for example. But, me and my brother really, really enjoy it. We’ve watched the most recent episode like 10 times, laughing a ton each time. We’ve repeated lines from the conversation between the chief and the commissioner so many times. I’d say it’s a unique brand of humor that not everyone will appreciate (everyone has different taste… and a different sense of humor), but I have to say that I love it. It’s hilarious. When I get a chance, I am going to support them with my wallet and buy some stuff from their site.

Anyway, check out the first five episodes (thus far) below.

The Gates Are Strict!

From Reuters:

Gates said he and his wife Melinda decided to set a limit of 45 minutes a day of total screen time for games and an hour a day on weekends, plus what time she needs for homework.

45 minutes a day for gaming? Ouch!

Street Fighter: The Later Years

Wow. This is amazing! Street Fighter: The Later Years over at College Humor. Episodes 1, 2 and 3. Hilarious.

Ask A Ninja DVD Shipping Confirmation

These guys are great. As soon as I found out that the Ask a Ninja guys were releasing a DVD, I placed my pre-order. It’s only $20, which is well worth it. I really like to support people that are doing cool things. People that make me laugh, as well. So, now I will have an Ask a Ninja DVD to go along with my Ask a Ninja t-shirt, Homestar Runner DVDs, t-shirts and accessories and Ze Frank t-shirt. :)

Anyway, here is the shipping confirmation I just received. Nice attention to detail.

Dear Patrick,

We have good news and bad news. The good news is that your order of Ask A Ninja Vol 1. DVD was shipped out today. The bad news is that there is also a real, live Ninja on his way to your house. Use extreme caution when opening your mailbox in the next few days. Just before we sealed the box, our packing master thought he heard a whisper saying “I am looking forward to killing Patrick soon”. We can’t be sure. It was either that or “what the hell… why are you stuffing me in the in this…” and the rest was muffled.

Please rest assured that we’ve taken great care in the shipping of your DVD. We hold true to an ancient DVD shipping tradition passed down for over 5000 years. This very intensive practice is only achieved after years of training, meditation, and purity of mind, and sadly’ some accidental killings (we’re looking for a new intern, if you know anyone…). After a rigorous 17 step process of verifying the authenticity of your DVD, we donned silk gloves and placed it into a sacred box made of magic and lined with Unicorn fur, tied the box with a strand of Gypsy hair, and wrapped the whole thing in a snazzy looking faux gold leaf paper, with elm leaf inlay from Costco. Unfortunately, by the time it gets to you, all of that fancy stuff will likely have been picked clean by the greedy postal service employees. Please don’t be surprised to see just a plain cardboard box.

Thank you again for your order with Film Baby. It is our pleasure to serve up the finest Independent entertainment for your viewing pleasure. Please come back and browse our thousands of titles, watch trailers or comment on films. It’s a great way to pass time at work!

If you need anything, or have any problems with this order, please reply to this email or call us 8am to 5pm PST at 877-345-6222. When calling reference order # 42.

We look forward to kill…er…serving you soon.

Film Baby

Barats and Bereta

These guys are great. I just bought a t-shirt (watch the second clip to see what it’s about) the other day, actually. This is their latest:

And my favorite:

Check out their site and YouTube channel for more.

Laughing Baby

This has got to be a first here (video of a baby), but I find this absolutely hilarious. Watch below.