We have good news and bad news. The good news is that your order of Ask A Ninja Vol 1. DVD was shipped out today. The bad news is that there is also a real, live Ninja on his way to your house. Use extreme caution when opening your mailbox in the next few days. Just before we sealed the box, our packing master thought he heard a whisper saying “I am looking forward to killing Patrick soon”. We can’t be sure. It was either that or “what the hell… why are you stuffing me in the in this…” and the rest was muffled.

Please rest assured that we’ve taken great care in the shipping of your DVD. We hold true to an ancient DVD shipping tradition passed down for over 5000 years. This very intensive practice is only achieved after years of training, meditation, and purity of mind, and sadly’ some accidental killings (we’re looking for a new intern, if you know anyone…). After a rigorous 17 step process of verifying the authenticity of your DVD, we donned silk gloves and placed it into a sacred box made of magic and lined with Unicorn fur, tied the box with a strand of Gypsy hair, and wrapped the whole thing in a snazzy looking faux gold leaf paper, with elm leaf inlay from Costco. Unfortunately, by the time it gets to you, all of that fancy stuff will likely have been picked clean by the greedy postal service employees. Please don’t be surprised to see just a plain cardboard box.

Thank you again for your order with Film Baby. It is our pleasure to serve up the finest Independent entertainment for your viewing pleasure. Please come back and browse our thousands of titles, watch trailers or comment on films. It’s a great way to pass time at work!

If you need anything, or have any problems with this order, please reply to this email or call us 8am to 5pm PST at 877-345-6222. When calling reference order # 42.

We look forward to kill…er…serving you soon.

Film Baby